I realize that I already wrote about the 4th year hike, but I have more to say.
On Sunday, August 7, we attended an early Fast & Testimony Meeting in Orem where my brother blessed his 4th son, Brody Fenton Robison.
Knowing our limits (and by our limits, I mean Cole), we did not attend our own Fast and Testimony Meeting later that day. Instead, we chose to just attend Primary (Rick was teaching Cole's class--which turned out to be a combined effort by many), Sunday School, and Young Women.
Knowing that I had to teach Young Women's and I needed to make some copies, I ended up going to the entire 3 hour block of meetings. By myself.
I thought I would just sit on the VERY back row and read and think about the lesson I had to teach. But, I heard Sister Christiansen get up first thing and share her testimony about a conversation that she had with her son, Shad and how she knows Heavenly Fathers loves him. It was all over. a few minutes later, during a quiet time, I got up and shared my testimony about a combination of things that had touched me in the previous week, part of which was the hike I had participated in to the top of Maple Mountain combined with the lesson that I was preparing to teach on A Change of Heart.
My family was not there and did not hear what I had to say, so I wanted to record it here for them to read.
I have to confess that I was not super thrilled to participate with this 4th year hike. Summer is a 3rd year, so I didn't have a daughter attending. I
HATE moderately enjoy hiking. I am tired of "roughing it".
BUT, remember...it is who you know. Several weeks before the hike, the 4th year hike specialist showed up at my house and
begged invited me to participate with this hiking activity. I told her no because Rick had to work that weekend. And Rick answered, "She'd love to hike. Sign her up." So I didn't have much of a choice.
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me and that darn hike specialist
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I'll confess. It was fun. I got about 20 phone calls from Sadie throughout the 2 weeks before the hike. I helped her plan the menu and shop for the food. I helped prepare the little "happies" for the girls after the hike.
And so we hiked.
I had been preparing my lesson for Young Women's and I had a bunch of ideas, thoughts, and quotes going though my mind as I prepared my lesson entitled,
"A Change of Heart is Necessary in Becoming like God."
After hiking for about 5 hours, this is what I saw as I reached the top of the trail:
I started to cry. Kinda of because I hurt. Mostly because of how much I could feel Heavenly Father's love for me. The Stake President, who was standing next to me said, "it's breath taking, isn't it?"
I said, "yeah, but I'm not crying, my eyeballs are just sweating."
We sat there for about 20 minutes and ate, drank, and called our parents.
It seems like it would be easy to get lost in how expansive the sight below us appeared.
But, to me, all I could feel was how much Heavenly Father loves me...
to be born at this time.
to have all the blessings that I enjoy.
to be able to participate in this event.
and so much more
And all I could think the entire time was
1. get me down from here in less pain than it took to get up here
AND
2. I want to be a better person. I should be better. It made me think of President Hinckley's suggestion that we should
try a little harder to be a little better.
Boyd K. Packer summed it up nicely with this:
"I'm not ashamed to say that I want to be good. And I've found in my life that it has been critically important to establish this intention between me and the Lord so that I knew that he knew which was I committed my agency. I went before Him and said, "I'm not neutral, and you can do with me what you want. If you need my vote, it's there. I don't care what you do with me, and you don't have to take anything from me because I give it to you--all that I own, all I am--," and that makes the difference."
("to those who teach in troubled times", seminary and institute conference, summer 1970, Boyd K. Packer)
From the talk I gave in Church a few weeks ago regarding Strengthening Our Testimonies, I learned from Cecil O. Samuelson,
"that while we believe fully in the mighty change of heart described in the scriptures, we must understand it often occurs gradually, rather than instantaneously or globally, and in response to specific questions, experiences, and concerns as well as by our study and prayer."
And Marvin J. Ashton said that
"the measure of our heart is the measure of our total performance. ...The "heart" of a person describes his effort to better self, others, or the conditions he confronts...The gospel of Jesus Christ has the power to change hearts and help individuals become pure, gentle, honest, kind, and loving." ("the measure of our hearts" October 1998)
So, this event was not "global or instantaneous", I felt a change of heart.
"If ye have experience a change of heart, and if he have felt to sing the song of redeeming love...can ye feel so now?" Alma 5:26